A piece of the perfectionism puzzle is often an underlying fear of what others think. The fear of being judged, criticized or shame. We tend to struggle with perfectionism most in areas were we feel vulnerable to shame.
Why? Because as humans we are hard wired for connection. Our survival depends on it.
And when we experience shame, we believe we are flawed and therefore unworthy of connection, according to shame expert Brené Brown.
Perfectionism is thinking “If I look perfect, live perfect and work perfect, I can avoid criticism, blame, ridicule and shame.” – Brene Brown
The catch is that it also prevents us from being authentic and connecting with others in order to feel seen.
And I’ll let you in on a secret: there is no such thing as perfect.
To be human is to be imperfect.